This is NOT Good
by aquajogger
Summary: This is a story my friend and I wrote VERY LATE AT NIGHT. We are not intirerly sane. Don't blame us, sue us, whatever. We don't own anything mentioned in the story. Please read and reveiw!


Wufei was walking down the hall, when he heard suspicious noises coming from a certain blondeÕs bedchambers. ÔshoutingÕ (moaning, yelling, etc) were loudly echoing from the once quiet hallway. Òstronger!...harder!...wider!Ó followed by ÒFIGHTER!!!Ó and Òfaster!...thicker!...smarter!Ó Wufei began bleeding profusely from his nasal area. he ran to the nearest bathroom, grabbed the box of Kleenex and sunk to the bathroom floor, very pale and quite obviously shocked beyond reason.  
  
It was then that he noticed noises coming coming from the walk-in closet next to him. ÒHeeeeero! _I_ want the top!Ó His eyes widened. Ò...No. You got it last time.Ó ÒDid not! You ALWAYS get the top.Ó ÒHn. I get it.Ó ÒNO! HEEEEERRRRROOO!! I want the stinkin top!Ó Wufei slowly scooted away from the offending door. As he made his way out of the bathroom, Kleenex clutched to his chest, the aruging sounds followed him down the hall. Add this to the shouts of ÒHARDER!!! FASTER!!Ó Coming from QuatreÕs room and he was turing very pale from lack of blood.  
  
TrowaÕs room didnÕt help him out with his predicament. While passing by on his way to his private sanctuary, he was unfortunate enough to hear: ÒOWW!!! I _said_ no biting!!! No more ok? Good Kitty...Ó Wufei began to run. His bedroom had never seemed so far away.   
  
There were only two more rooms...then his own...he could lock himself in, put on headphones and pull out ÒWar and PeaceÓ.  
  
Passing TreizeÕs room, he distincly heard him yell, ÒSEX! I NEED SEX!!Ó Wufei paused. ÒNOW! I NEED SEX _RIGHT_ NOW!!!Ó Wufei sprinted, like heÕd never sprinted before.  
  
Passing the kitchen, he distincly heard Relena say, ÒDorothy! You just broke HeeroÕs special toy!Ó ÒSorry, Miss Relena...I guess I pushed too hard.Ó ...Almost...there...His door was only three feet away... ...two feet... one foot...  
  
ÒYESS!!!!!!Ó I made it!! I made it!!! slamming his door after him he plopped onto his bed and reached for his discman. But his hand froze, as he heard one last cry: ÒAHA! Now IÕve got you right where I want you!Ó Wufei groaned. ÒCHECKMATE!!!!Ó finally! someone whoÕs not perverse! He put his discman down. *tap tap tap* Òugh...doorÓ He slowly opened the door to find the rest of the pilots and Treize outside.  
  
Ò....What?Ó Òwhy were you yelling?Ó asked Quatre. Ò...because...i finally made it back to my room, this place is crawling promiscious activity. I heard what you were all saying, and i did was walk down the hallway!!Ó Òuh...i was lisening to Christina Augilera!Ó Quatre confessed ÒAll i wanted was HeeroÕs shirt!!!!Ó Said a confused Shinigami Òyea thats right...its mine!!!!Ó Yelled Heero Ògrrrrrrrrrr....oh! by the way, Quatre, its stronger, harder, wiser and faster, thicker, smarter!Ó Said Duo. Ò...oh....oops!Ó Òok well all that maybe so, but what about Trowa? He was _moaning_ about ÔkittyÕ biting him!!!Ó Wufei asked Ò......training circus lion.....Ó Trowa replied Òand you Treize? why were you making such a racket? You were yelling incredibly loud for a bit of sex!Ó *grabs tissues from counter* 0.o ÒZECHS, Wufei, ZECHS, not sex. I have urgent papers for him to sign.Ó Ò.....ooook then!.....Ó  
  
ÒBut what about you two?Ó He pointed at Relena and Dorothy. ÒWhat were YOU doing?Ó Ò...I broke HeeroÕs gun...Ó ÒI _TOLD_ you not to push it that hard!Ó ÒWell, at least I didnÕt dent the wall!Ó Ò...Yes...Everyone is sane...well, as sane as these people get.Ó  
  
Waving his arms to get everyones attention, Wufei announced, ÒLets go to dinner. My treat. Well, not for you, Maxwell.Ó After the cheers(and boos from Duo) died down, Relena pointed out, ÒWhat about Zechs and Noin? ShouldnÕt we get them?Ó Wufei nodded. ÒThey are in here.Ó He pointed to the door. ÒIÕll go get them.Ó As he opened the door... A very bondaged Zechs was positioned beneath a leather wearing Noin on the bed. Aranged around them were several chess pieces. Wufei caught the words, ÒIÕve got you now, my king,Ó before the world around him went black. 


End file.
